therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
