we have pet lesbian snakes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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