Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
