I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
