Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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