If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
