just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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