You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
