it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
