Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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