I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
