That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
