so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
