I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
