Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
