Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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