At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
