Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
