we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
