But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
