glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
