eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
God gave him joint rollers for hands
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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