He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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