I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
