Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
