How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
