sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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