I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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