Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
