College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
