I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
