We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
