Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
