I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
