so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
