Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
