Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
