If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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