I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
