btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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