Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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