no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If that was your dad, he is hot
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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