At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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