I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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