All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize