I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
