i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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