fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
