I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
