If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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