can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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